A miffed Margaret Thatcher some years ago expressed her annoyance at the British clergy for a number of critical comments about her policies.
"You may have noticed that recently the voices of some reverend and right reverend prelates have been heard in the land..........After all, it wouldn't be spring, would it, without the voice of the occasional cuckoo?"
Not quite. According to one US agency the term peace is now expressed in the phrase "permanent pre-hostility".
An advert recently appeared in a US. magazine for a bedside lamp called the "Jesus NiteLite". It is also claimed to give "A warm secure glow to ..... bathrooms" to make nighttime visits a spiritual experience.
Yes there is a Bible trivia game called "Jots and Tittles". It's the game that gives you "Trivia With A Purpose".
Dr. Robert Schuller's Crystal Cathedral in California now includes a prayer chapel built over a lake and has a glass floor so that prayers can view the fish. We certainly hope no eels get in by mistake to disturb times of prayerful meditation.
Mother of three, Mrs. Margaret Burke went to her church in New York to pray for help in her financial troubles. When she found an envelope with $10 000 in it at the foot of a statue of St. Jude, she thought her prayers had been answered. When she had finally paid off all her debts she was charged with grand larceny, since she had taken the thank offering of a parishioner to St. Jude for answered prayer. The charges were later dropped, so maybe her prayers were answered.
Tony Abbott, former Sydney Rugby Union player and presently Catholic Priest in Aus., broached that most difficult of subjects, payback. "I deplore gratuitous violence. But if you are punched, or a teammate is being picked on, it is sometimes necessary to retaliate. But you do it naturally in a very loving and caring way."
"I'll stay with the Rock of Ages. I know some people come to see me preach, figuring that at any moment I'm going to rip off my clothes and start singing, Good Golly Miss Molly, but it's not going to happen. You can't serve two masters and be successful".
The Rev Richard Penneman, or as he used to be called, Little Richard.
It's great to hear that the Bishop of Durham believes in something. He no longer believes that Jesus rose from the dead, but in a recent radio interview he admitted that he does believe in the Abominable Snowman. In fact he admitted to having actually met a Yeti.
Dr. Stan Coffey, a Texan minister, presented his Christmas sermon series with the title, "Mystery Questions of the Virgin Birth". The series dealt with the following questions. Will Jesus return at the same date of his first coming, December 25? Why does Santa have the same letters as Satan? Did Mary have a baby book for Jesus? The questions seem more perplexing than any possible answers might be.
Four Samoan fisherman adrift in the Pacific for a week with only an old Bible. This they ate while singing hymns and praying. They survived.
The US. organization, Planned Parenthood, in opposing anti-abortion laws, called them "Compulsory Pregnancy Laws". It may be helpful if someone was to inform them where babies come from.
A sign outside a Melbourne restaurant read, "Even God pays cash here".
The Hawthorn city Council in Aus. had the singers at their Carols by Candlelight singing:
Sing choirs of angles,
Sin in exultation.....
"See the Holy Land you've heard so much about. Follow the steps of the 10 disciples by air-conditioned luxury coach". The other two disciples must have been out of step.
"The general public is looking for real love. The void inside the modern woman can be filled. She need not devour sex-filled fantasy to curb her craving for love. Instead, she can discover the true romance of God-directed love through modern inspirational romance."
This could be the best example of Christian trivia. It is a baby Jesus doll with a non-toxic, luminescent, snap-on halo. The doll comes in different skin tones to advance its non-racist stance. It even has an accompanying cassette tape of angelic music.
It was bound to happen. Gospel Boomerangs are now on sale in the U.S.A. They are of course marked with appropriate messages....
"Return unto Me: For I have redeemed you" Isaiah 44:22
"I will come again", John 14:3.
A sign outside a Church in Nottingham, UK. "Lonely preacher requires congregation. Apply within."
In the magazine What's New in Marketing? the effectiveness of a good sales pitch was illustrated from the Bible. Speaking of Moses they noted, "Who else could have sold a hazardous 40 year migration at a time when the average life expectancy was about 35?"
David Niblett of the Anglican Parish of South Bent UK. recently felt it necessary to remind the more indulgent members of his congregation concerning partaking of the Holy Communion. "Take only a small sip of the wine in the chalice. You do not get any more of God by taking a large gulp."
Was this a misprint? From the Hyde Park Church Newsletter. "The property and Finance Committee met jointly and voted to do some much needed renovation work on the Rector."
Dr. Lewis Born titled an address at a youth rally a few years back in Doncaster Victoria Aus. "Sexuality - how far do I go before marriage and how far after marriage?"
We are sorry to say we only have the title of the talk and not the text. The how far "after marriage" would have been most interesting.
The National Federation of Decency in the US. had this to say about Australia's beloved Crocodile Dundee when it hit the big screen some years back. Bad language, "usually frequent and/or severe." For nudity, drug use and alcohol consumption, "frequent and/or severe." We obviously missed something.
A course on "Creativity in Business" at Stanford University's business school added that little extra you don't get elsewhere. It included meditation, chanting, the use of tarot cards and "New Age Capitalism" as a means to increase profits.
Usually a friend or family member is instrumental getting us along to Church for the first time. One of the Artists working for an Aus. magazine said she started attending St Hilary's Anglican Church through the invitation of her aunty's goddaughter's sister's ex-ballroom dancing partner's girlfriend. See if you can beat that!